Girl… you need to breathe!

How many times have I heard this? About everytime something is on my mind and I just want a little assurance that something is good or if I’m doing something right, I go to a friend and ask and they always tell me to calm down and breathe. I seriously dont think that I’m stressin! I feel like if they really knew me they would know I’m not stressing and I’m just asking about work or whatever I’m asking about.

Dont get me wrong I can see it from their point of veiw too. If someone kept askin me hey is this good is this okay I would get annoyed and be like listen, calm down your doing fine. But why does it have to be that? Why cant someone just ask to make sure they are understanding it? That they are getting the job done right?

Next time you tell me to breathe it better be when I’m really stressing otherwise I’m gonna freak!

Lesson 8 – Responsible Selfishness

First, think about your life. Have you ever found yourself being pulled in every direction at once? Yes but its not an everyday thing.

Do you spend your time wishing you could do what you want to do, but are always doing something for someone else? I used to, but now that the military has me I’m used to doing what I’m told lol.

Are your responsibilities keeping you from your deepest desires? No, if I wanted I could take some classes online or now that I’m back in the states I can go to the campuses. I admit I’m lazy.

Why do you think this is? I’m currently on midnight shift now and that could be an issue but that doesnt mean I cant take the classes online.

How do you feel when you tell someone no?  Usually when I say no they look at me like i’m a discusting person. So I usually get guilted into helping them.

Does it feel different when they are asking for some minor help rather than major help? Well it depends on what the minor and major help are. Like if they need help with something small I really dont mind but if they want me to be a chofer for them cause I have a car well that pisses me off. The gym is not even a 5 min walk, less then that and you complain its toooo cold when its 60 degrees omg I dont know why but talkin about that situation is angerin me.

In addition, I’d like to know your thoughts on these parables. Were they knew concepts for you? Sure, I honestly didnt really understand it. I read it three times and it didnt click. In a way I do get the part its talkin about forgivness but other then that I dunno.

 How did you feel as you read them? I wasnt really happy to read them honestly. God has been an issue for me as of late and I dont like discussing that stuff or anything that has to do with religion. So I’m not really uh fond of reading things like this.

Lesson 7 – Finding your Purpose

If you feel you have a mission or purpose in life, what is it? I think this is an easy lesson for me personally. I’ve known this answer my entire life. My purpose in life is to go into space. To become an astronaut. As per lesson 3, my mom always told me when I was a baby I would always be looking at the sky, like it was ment to be.

As for the shorter motovational, I would say getting my Aerospace Enginnering Degree which in the long run will help me go work for NASA and hopefully space.

Pt

I’m not gonna explain excatly what I did on each machine today because my time is short these past few days. I gotta get dressed for work in about 15 so i’m just gonna write down what  I did the past two days and on friday when I have a pt rest day i can sleep in and i’ll update excatly what I did.

17 Nov 09- Elliptical 40 min, Bike 35 min, Sauna 15, Run 1.5 mi in 17.

18 Nov 09- Elliptical 40 min (harder levels), bike 35 min, sauna 15 min, run 1.5 min in 16 (my time when off when I was running and since my headphones were loud i didnt hear it but i’m guessin it was 16 min).

PT

9 Nov 2009- I went running this morning after work at 0630. I ran 1.5 mi in about 22 min. I however am sad because I didnt run it as fast as I usually do. However, I did work all night, it was my first night on midnight shift. So I have to admit I was pretty exhausted. But thats not excuse for not running it as I always do.

10 Nov 2009- I went running at 0600 and ran a mile. I think  I ran it in 15 min. I couldnt run 1.5mi cause I had an appointment I had to get to. I’m lucky cause my knee, the one I had injured before, doesnt hurt *knock on wood*. However, I think my body is telling me its tired cause my right calf and foot are a little achy. I gotta make sure to stretch better tomorrow. Well, thats all I have done for now.

Lesson 6 – The Will to Change

Pros and Cons with the Basic Self

1. Write down the biggest thing you want to change about yourself. My weight.

2. Make a list of the main things you will lose when you make this change. I will loose the excuse as to why I cant run fast anymore or why I cant do that many sit ups, my gut will be gone so I should be able to do them.

3. Make a list of the main things you will gain when you make this change. Better health, my grandma has diabeties, my mom just told me she got dignosed with it 2 months ago so it would help me from getting it. I’d have more energy thourghout the day. I think I’d be happier and I wouldnt be in such a bad mood. I could do my job properly.

4. Compare the lists and decide – is it worth it? If you are struggling with this activity, ask the class or instructor for some other perspectives. Yes it is very worth it. I have to say my life depends on it, I dont wanna get sick. I dont want diabeties. I want to stay in the military and live my life to that structure.

5. What ideas do you have to excite the Basic Self to support you in this change? Playing the new Modern Warfare 2 coming out next week! Woo! Mostly playing 360 really helps me just to relax and get away from things, sort of like a break.

As of this week I ran quite a few times. My will had a lot to do with it but I do have the entire military career hanging over my head as well if I dont. I’ve been working out too on the treadmil and elliptical, and Bike as well. So I’ve had the motovation and will.

Test Trial

Breakfast- special k 160 cal, skim milk included with cereal , orange juice 110. Total Calories 270.

Snack- fiber bar 120 cal

lunch- special k with skim milk 160 cal.

Morning pt- push up, sit up, bench dip schedule.

Set 1: 10,3,8

Set 2: 12,4,8

Set 3: 7,3,5 

Set 4: 7,4,5

Set 5: 9,5,7

Lunch pt- same as morning

Set Back with Pt

I cant believe this. I somehow ended up bruising my ribs and now its just another thing messing up my pt.

Lesson 5 – Excuses

1. How does this article apply to the Jedi path? Well just like akido the Jedi path has quitters and some people that make it to a certain point then leave or find something else in their life. Sadly, I admit that I am the later part. When it comes down to it, family needed me. I could have possibily continued training however I think the emotional struggle I was going through at the time would have put more stress on me to face it all when I didnt understand it all. Sorry if that dont make sense.

2. Do you feel you find excuses to avoid training? (This is rarely something we are aware of in the moment, so think back.) Why or why not? Its actually like 50;50 for me. I’m more focused on pt at the moment and devoting all my time trying to figure out whats blocking my motovation and get my butt in gear. Other times I know I have the time to train and really focus on what I need to do but tv seems more entertaining and I have to tell you ever sense I joined the military keeping still is a very hard thing for me. I’m struggling right now to not get up and move around my room lol.

Lesson 4- Weakness

Of these four areas, where do you feel the weakest?  I feel weakest in the physical part.

Which do you spend the least amount of focus on?  Spiritual part.

 Said another way, look back at your life. In times of difficulty, which areas have contributed to that difficulty? Well injuries happened and things went down hill.

Did your emotions create volatile situations? At my old job in Germany I wasnt getting treated fairly and the supervision was very poor and I paid for their mistakes and got the shitty end of the line all the time. So i’ve been sour about that.  

Has your health hindered you from success? Yes. Have you struggled with academics? Reciently I just failed 3 college classes. I cant really seem to stay focused on it.